Perfectionism Could Be Killing Your Goals!

When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver!- Brene Brown

As someone who classes themselves as a perfectionist, I love this quote!

It opened my eyes up to the fact that despite me always thinking perfectionism was a positive quality, and one that drove me to be successful in sport and my career, for most people it actually comes from a negative place and data has shown it has some draw backs.

Perfectionism can be defined as,

‘A set of self defeating thought patterns that push you to achieve unrealistic goals, that you wrongly believe to be attainable.’

Or put more simply, an impossible standard that we will never be able to achieve and a feeling that our efforts are never quite good enough. Now I’m still a strong believer in how perfectionism gives so many successful people their drive to achieve greatness, and achieve things that most will not. However if we can learn to manage the downsides to it, then we can potentially achieve even more, and this includes maximising our health and fitness.

Like many things, perfectionism can usually be traced back to our childhood and what we experienced as kids. This is not the focus of this article but essentially, achieving things has somewhere along the line been linked in our brains to our self worth and value. Therefore not performing or achieving to a perfect standard can stir up negative behaviours and feelings like shame, fear, anxiety, guilt, stress, obsessive thoughts, sabotage and procrastination. Not how we want to feel on a daily basis!

Can you think of a time at work or in sport perhaps where things didn’t go 100% to plan and you were left with some of those feelings? Or can you relate to any of these ways that perfectionism can show up;

-Unrealistic goal setting

-Handling criticism and feedback badly

-Viewing mistakes as failures

-Redoing work to make it ‘perfect’

-Giving up on task if its not done ‘perfectly’

-Not starting tasks because it can’t be done ‘perfectly’

-And getting overly stressed and anxious if things don’t go to plan

Perfectionism is thought to actually decrease our performance and productivity by up to 60%! So how could this be impacting your health and fitness goals?

Well firstly, research has shown that perfectionism is linked to health issues such as stress, anxiety, burnout, and decreased energy levels. So clearly if maximising your health is the goal, and indeed performance in your career, then dealing with perfectionism could be very useful!

The behaviour of giving up or not starting tasks if they can’t be done ‘perfectly’ is also particularly relevant. I’ve seen this countless times with successful high achieving clients, who throw the towel in because they went slightly off plan one day, so decided to give up and do zero workouts that week and eat everything in site! Or won’t even start their journey to fitness and health because the conditions are’t ‘perfect’. In reality they never will be and they just need to start!

It is also the inner perfectionist that will make you do a work out when you feel sick or are clearly ill, thinking in the short term it means you are more productive and have ticked off your to do list however in the long term, probably less so as it just prolongs your illness! (We’ve all been guilty of that one!).

So how can we start to challenge perfectionism? It’s not going to change overnight however here are 4 things you can use to begin to change the mindset.

1.Challenge your behaviour

Start to make note of some of the tasks you do where your inner perfectionist shows up and start to challenge these behaviours. Write down why you think this must be perfect and test one thing at a time noting what actually happens if its not.

E.G Going over by 500 calories one day of the week. Did it actually mess up your weight loss goal? Did you still make progress despite one day not going 100% to plan?Did everything else you did manage to do still have a positive impact or was that completely ruined?

2.Set realistic goals

Set goals that are achievable in a sensible time frame. This is not to say don’t dream big….absolutely do. Remember we can still aim for excellence and greatness, we just need to be smart about it. So don’t expect to do the big thing in a week and give up because you haven’t achieved it yet! If you want to lose 3 stone and build the strength to do 10 pull ups, GREAT! However allow yourself a sensible time frame to achieve this and focus on the little wins and smaller goals on the way there. These still have value.

3.Don’t fear failure

Failure and making mistakes are how we learn and progress. They are an indicator that we are growing and developing, so don’t fear and avoid it, but instead see it as proof you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and developing as a person. You will make mistakes and mess up on the road to a health and fitness goal, but that’s how you learn to achieve it. Did I lose fights on the way to becoming Kickboxing World Champion ..YES! But I learnt from them and used them to move forward rather than throwing in the towel.

4.Focus on the bigger picture

As perfectionists it’s easy to get caught up in the small detail, instead of focusing on the bigger picture. For example becoming hyper focusing at work on the timing and special effects of slides in a presentations rather than the substance and message you want to get across. With your health and fitness, this might be getting caught up on your cardio being slightly down one week instead of remembering you still hit the gym 3 times, lost weight, stuck to your calories and macros and are feeling energised.

I hope this can at least help you start to change your thinking and reflect on your own patterns and behaviours where perfectionism might be holding you back. With perfectionism reducing our productivity by 60%, getting a handle on it can maximise what you can achieve by taking the amazing drive it gives you but reducing the time and energy it can waste.

Have a fit, healthy and productive week!

Lizzie Kicks

One Percent Club